Beautiful. Medicine.

“Straight Talk”, with Dr Rhonda Fine
January 2012
Dear Dr Fine,

I overindulged (eating and drinking) over the holidays and have put on about 11 pounds. I always seem to loose weight when I diet, however I also always gain the weight back within the next few months. I feel like this happens every year! Why does this happen to me and what can I do about it?

Stephie
Biscayne

Dear Stephie,

You are not alone! We all go a little crazy with overeating and our alcohol intake seems to hit it’s peak during this time of year. Remember, weight loss is an internal process. Diets attempt to change what you eat while exercise affects your body’s strength and endurance. Unhealthy eating is the result of poor choices, therefore it is necessary to change our thoughts and learn to restructure our thinking. Everyone is different. Your best chance for success is to sit down with a specialist in Weight Maintenance who can individualize specific strategies. Success requires the right attitude in addition to the proper program.

Dear Dr Fine,

With the holidays and a new baby, do you think it is possible that my thoughts could get in the way of enjoying sex with my partner? I feel as if we have lost a connection. We are both so busy.

Angela
Coral Springs

Dear Angela,

Congratulations on your new addition! It sounds as if Life is coming at you from all angles. Make time each day to sit down with each other and talk about your day. The conversations that we have with our partner and ourselves are the most important conversations that we can have. The brain is the largest sex organ. Your mind controls your body and your body talks back to your mind. This conversation will either cause sexual excitement or sexual inhibition. Keep an open mind, filled with happy thoughts. 

Dear Dr Fine,

My husband asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day and all I could think of was a day to myself. To be alone maybe even get a haircut. My husband was quite shocked and told me that wasn’t normal. What do you think?

Sharon A
Gables Estates

Dear Sharon,

When children come into our lives a woman’s focus quickly shifts toward child rearing. Mother’s are the key family caregivers and there is no such thing as a part time mother. However, mothers tend to forget that they are part of the family too and that they, themselves, need to be nurtured.

Even though experts all agree that it is just as important for mothers to take care of themselves nearly 8 out of 10 do not. One of the biggest categories ignored is a woman’s sense of feeling and looking beautiful. Feeling like a woman ends up being more of a wish than a reality. Guilt is often the largest barrier.

Mothers need to learn how to mother themselves. You need to free yourself of past habits and routines. Change your thinking and embrace your own identity. You will be freer and happier than ever before. Your life will be more abundant filled with love and joy.

Let this Mother’s Day and this month inspire you and your husband to ” put you on the list” of family members that need nurturing.

Happy Mother’s Day to you Sharon!

April is Stress Health Awareness month. Dr. Fine answers your questions:

Dear Dr. Fine,

I have been feeling anxious lately? Could this be stress? Exactly what is stress?

Jerry
Aventura

Dear Jerry,

We tend to believe that stress is something that happens to us from the outside, when in fact stress is the result of our emotional reactions to these outside events.

Stress affects us all physically as well as mentally and emotionally. Our bodies have a brilliant protective system for handling acute stress, however this mechanism was not designed to be continually activated. In today’s society most of the stressors that we endure are not acute easily identifiable threats. Instead we are besieged with constant irresolvable worries. These worries may not be life threatening however they do activate our protective system resulting in chronically elevated stress hormones that continually cause wear and tear to our bodies.

According to the Institute of Stress a vast majority of our health problems can be traced back to stress.

Research has shown improving our reaction to stress directly benefits stress mediated illnesses, many chronic illnesses and conditions that are psychophysiological in nature. Learning how to have control over our stress creates a balance between our mind and body. Some of the proven benefits of controlling stress are as follows:

• Boosts the immune system
• Enhances Mediation Skills
• Control of Emotional Eating
• Improves Insomnia
• Improves Physiological and Psychological Well-being
• Influences Anxiety and Depression
• Assists in Pain management
• Influences Hypertension and Irritable bowl Syndrome
• Improves Mental Clarity and Test Taking Ability
• Improves Sports Performance

Realizing that you are in control of your life is necessary to build the foundation of a successful stress management program. In addition to traditional methods I use an evidenced based innovative and interactive stress reduction and emotional management system. This system provides real time feedback that can be practiced at home or on the go. Mastering these techniques allows you to have the key role in promoting emotional wellbeing, physical health as well as influencing longevity.

The goal is to help you create Better Personal Health, Improve Learning, Increase Personal Performance and Better Personal Relationships.

The New Year has traditionally been the signal for us to evaluate the past year and make plans for the next. As we reassess the disappointments of the past, the excitement of new possibilities for the future usually leads us to make our “New Years Resolutions”.

We typically vow to start our diets and loose weight. We absolutely will adhere to our exercise program and schedule. This year we will plan for the future by managing our finances with more care and we will address any career concerns. Spending quality time with our family will be a priority and of course we will enhance our spirituality.

Perhaps this year, we could embrace a more eclectic philosophy and decide to embrace our sexuality. After all, sex has long been the force that excites our bodies and touches our souls; sexual energy dramatically optimizes our body’s functions by strengthening our immune system. Sex relieves mild pain. It releases us from physical and mental tension, stress and anxiety. It helps promote good sleep. Sex elevates mood, increases self-esteem, fosters intimacy and improves relationships, it connects us mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Maybe this will be the year we will make a resolution not over look our sexual health.

Happy New Year to you all!

Dr. Rhonda Fine

Appreciation

Question

Dear Dr. Fine
I’ve been married for 17 years. We have 3 children all under the age of 15. We both work and therefore there isn’t a lot of time for sex. I’m starting to feel disconnected from my husband and I’m afraid he might be looking to have an affair with someone he works with. Do you have any advice on how I can stop him from having this affair?

Lorie
Golden Beach

Dear Lorie,

I’m sorry to hear that your marriage is troubled. This is definitely your cue to give your relationship with your husband the priority it deserves.

M. Gary Neuman a marital infidelity expert did extensive research on infidelity. His research revealed that 93% of the time it wasn’t sex that caused husbands to cheat. It was the lack of appreciation they received from their wives. In addition, they further reported that the motivating force to have the affair with a specific person was the way the other woman admired and appreciated them.

I find this statement to be very empowering for all women. It teaches us how important recognition is to men. It also offers a solution to prevent future problems in our marriages. In addition, bringing out the best in your husband will forge the way for you to improve intimacy and reconnect with your husband.

Recognition, supportive encouragement and understanding bring out the best in people and foster quality relationships. The Holidays will soon be upon us, it’s a good time to realize the value of being appreciative and thankful for everything in our lives. We need to count our blessings not our problems. Only by appreciating what’s in our lives do we give it proper value.

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us”
Albert Schweitzer